What ragamuffins have been prowling around our cottage? I snapped, gesturing at my wife Evelyn. Call your family and have them come over to set things straight. Im fed up cleaning after them. Im already doing the laundry every night because of your friends, who keep crashing here on the weekend.
Hold on, Mum called earlier, I said over dinner. She and the rest of the relatives are planning a weekend barbecue.
Good for them, Evelyn replied. Let them go, what do we care? Ive never liked your motherinlaw, Margaret.
They just want to use the cottage, I tried to explain. We dont have our own place, and Ive got a garageservice appointment on Saturday. Its a given, really. I told her we couldnt take the cottage out for the weekend, which is why Mum asked for the keys.
Evelyn had no choice but to agree, a decision she later regretted. When we finally drove up to the cottage the following weekend, the sight stopped her dead in her tracks. The place looked as if a storm had ripped through it.
Berries were strewn everywhere, the floor was filthy, a lone pot of an old soup sat on the stove, and the kitchen curtains were ripped off the windows. Evelyn refused to believe what she was seeing. My parentsinlaw were already in their sixties.
She let it all out to me.
What ragamuffins have been here? she repeated, voice shaking. Call your family and have them sort this mess out. Im not cleaning after them any longer. Im already doing the laundry after your friends, who keep staying overnight at our cottage.
Maybe youre overreacting. Toss it in the washing machine, spin it, hang it out, I suggested.
Next time you do it all yourself! Are you satisfied with the state of our cottage and garden? she retorted.
But I didnt pick up the phone. Evelyn stopped speaking to me, and eventually we patched things up. Wed only been married two years, a lovedriven wedding, and we still had no children. Life rolled onwork, house, work, house. Weekends were spent walking the countryside or meeting friends for a picnic.
Everything changed when Evelyns mother suddenly remarried and moved to another town. The family cottage fell to Evelyn.
From that moment the whole side of the family suddenly adored her. Relatives kept turning up at the cottage, eager for a barbecue in the fresh air. Cousins, aunts, uncles, even my own grandmothera whole swarm of kin arrived, all wanting the river, the woods, and the grill. My friends also joined in.
Everyone arrived with overnight bags. Id fire up the barbie as usual. Evelyn grew weary, yet she didnt want to alienate my family and friends. Something had to be done.
Now I actually looked forward to the weekend, nervous as ever. When Evelyn and I married, her mother was already advanced in years. Shed given birth to a son quite late in life and also had a daughtermy sisterinlaw Claireten years older than me. Margaret, a countryborn woman, always acted as if everything around her belonged to the family.
Claire would raid the cottage for creams, shampoos, sponges and even my slippers. Then Margaret phoned again, asking James to hand over the cottage keys. This time Claire decided to bring her boss along for a weekend getaway and barbecue.
And, as always, Evelyn wasnt asked for her opinion.
Well give Mum the keys, I said. Of course I remembered Evelyns reaction to the last family visit, but I didnt want to bring it up.
Evelyn realised she had to act, and I suddenly found myself on the other side of the argument. She ran through the options in her head, then called her own mother to complain.
Ill call back, her mother replied curtly.
In about twenty minutes Evelyn was on the line, claiming that her sister and brotherinlaw would be staying at the cottage for a while. Dont worry, Aunt June will sort it out, she added.
Evelyns eyes widened. Shed always been uneasy about Aunt June. As a child shed been sent to Junes house for summer holidays, a memory that had stuck with her forever. June, a stern but caring woman, knew how to keep order.
That evening June called.
Oh, my dear niece, youre so quiet. You should have rung me ages ago. How do you want me to handle thisgentle persuasion or a firm hand? she laughed, already planning her approach.
Did you tell them the cottage is yours? June asked.
I cant recall, but theyre all convinced its mine, Evelyn admitted.
Dont fret, love, well set everything straight, June reassured.
On Sunday my motherinlaw rang, furious. You sold the cottage? she shouted. Wheres the money? Why didnt anyone tell us?
It turned out that on Saturday Claire had arrived with her boss, while Margaret and her husband had turned up with a handful of relatives, already grilling on the lawn.
Who are you? gasped my motherinlaw, Galbraith Patterson.
And who are you, exactly? the lady representing Claire demanded, her tone authoritative. Im the owner of this cottage, I dont know you. How did you get the keys?
The gathering of relatives looked bewildered. Claire tried to explain the family connection and the handover of the keys. Galbraith glowered at her, and Claire stumbled. Galbraith kept silent, waiting for an excuse.
In the end the keys were taken from Claire, and she was politely asked to leave and never return, under threat of legal action if she tried to use someone elses keys.
From a distance Evelyn heard Galbraith screaming into the receiver. I was clueless, unable to interject.
Hand the phone to your wife, I said, passing the handset to Evelyn. This cottage isnt yours! Galbraith declared, almost ceremoniously.
Did anyone ask you? Evelyn tried to stay calm. Have you decided that everything around us belongs to you?
Do you understand that Claire invited her boss to the cottage? You realise the repercussions? Shes hoping to curry favour because her department faces cuts. If she loses her job, itll be on your conscience, Galbraith fumed.
And what does that have to do with me? Aunt June is just here to relax, you didnt even ask me. Buy yourself another place and enjoy it, Evelyn snapped back. Youve lived without this cottage before, youll manage without it now.
After this I wont come back, and neither will my relatives, my husband finally blurted out, visibly shaken.
It was the first real fight wed ever had. I took offense, and Claire was dismissed from her job. Ill never forgive you for this, James said, his voice tight. My family loved you, cared for you, and you deceived us.
Evelyn was convinced Claires termination had another cause. She suddenly realised she didnt truly care about any of them. Our marriage had hit a dead end.
Mum, I think Im going to divorce James, she whispered.
Its your decision, youre an adult now. Where will you live? Ive let my flat go. Go to June, her mother replied.
Thanks, I suppose, Evelyn said, stunned. Ill probably rent a flat.
She filed for divorce, found a flat of her own and moved out. She stopped visiting the cottage altogether.
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